I’m not sure why but I seem to have noticed a fair few people feeling really down recently – mainly for one reason – regret. That horrible should’ve, could’ve, would’ve feeling that we’ve all had at some time or other. 

How things would have been different if we’d have spoken up for ourselves, I wouldn’t have been overlooked for a job or a special project. Or maybe ‘friends’ who didn’t choose me for their night out or hen party, if I was different.

Perhaps disappointment in where they see themselves in life, in their career, feeling as if everyone else is making progress and they aren’t.

This reminds me of how we are all flicking through social media, noticing the happy faces, the huge congratulations for a job well done.

But it’s all tosh and here’s why.

Remember a time when you saw a trailer for a movie that you thought looked really good? Then later, when you went and saw the film, it was rubbish?

It’s a bit like that with our everyday lives as well. We make a judgement based on a short 60 second trailer that a film was worth spending a couple of hours at the flix on (plus a cheeky Nando’s and stale, salty popcorn).

It’s a bit like that in life – what we see when we’re scrolling on Instagram etc is simply what others want us to see: their trailer or draft reel. That’s all it is. A snapshot of life that someone else has selected based on what they believe represents who they want to be.

Now I’m not saying everyone who posts on social media is a fraud. Far from it. There’s much to be admired but the risks with taking too much notice of all this fun is mainly the risk that comes with comparison.

Simply that – and what’s the answer? Just don’t compare your finished article, your ‘movie’ to someone else’s draft reel. Would be crazy to do that, wouldn’t it?

Choosing to feel rubbish simply because you believe you’re not good enough when compared to someone else’s cherry-picked draft reel.

So, here’s a simple technique that I’ve found works really well with helping you connect to a confident, positive you. It’s called anchoring and wil be familiar to anyone who listens to music, smells a certain pleasant smell or similar and is transported back in time to a happy time.

Check out my short video for a demo of anchoring.

But my message here is a simple one: don’t compare and instead, start seeing yourself as the person you want to see.

Enjoy and have a fab rest of the day.